LONG TRAIN HOME

You would normally never be able guess where I am right now.

The most honest answer is that I haven’t the foggiest clue where I am. Somewhere about five minutes north of Bakersfield on an Amtrak train headed home to the lovely little oasis of Oakley, California. Its good to be going home, and as I glide a single story above the ground on the top level of this five car train, with a sunrise to my left and the retreating darkness to my right, I cannot help but feel the anticipation growing within me as I realize I am alive.

The most wonderful phenomena just happened. As a child I had made flip-books, but that was so elementary to what I just experienced. As we passed by another train on the tracks, my view of the distant hills illuminated by the approaching sunrise strobed as I was only allowed to peer through the gaps between the cargo cars. As an aspiring filmmaker, I know that this kinetic movement of images is what the human brain knows to be a movie, or in proper terms, cinema. It’s all light and magic, and I loved it.

I feel very alive right now. Everything is wonderful and beautiful even in the darkness. The sun is poised to rise any minute now. Its 5:12 am and I am on my way home. Its been so long since I have been home, and with the stresses of finals, work, no breaks, no stop to the repetition I find myself longing for the simple life of little Oakley, California--my retreat from the rigors of going to school in Las Angeles. I have been overwhelmed lately with finals week preparations from the spring semester that ended back in May, the immediate exhaustion from two intensive summer classes that could best be described as ‘academia onslaught’, and the stresses of working two jobs. My mom will love the great news: A’s in both classes; she’ll be so proud. It has all been adding up on top of itself though, and I found my need for escape so great that I had to get out, and fast.

Driving all the way home would be easy, but expensive. My car is in good condition but I just hate driving it sometimes. Praise God for the train, I am so happy to not have to drive.

I think I finally understand why my great grandpa James Huffman was a train conductor, this is just plain fun and exhilarating.

First Megan drove me to the Glendale Transportation Center where we waited for 10 minutes for a bus to arrive. I boarded the bus and wished my friend farewell. I sat next to some kid who hogged a quarter of my seat so he could lay down and sleep. Little sleep for me, I was too anxious.

We arrived by bus in Bakersfield at 4:10 am. I paid for my ticket and boarded the 711 train headed for Antioch, California--a convenient 10 minutes from my home. I boarded the train and sat down at a comfortable and spacious seat. I wasn’t quite sure what I was expecting but the seats and legroom were far superior to any airplane I have ever been on. The train’s conductor, a jolly black man whom I will never meet in person but his voice will always be in my memories, began speaking over the loud speaker and saying really funny things. I guess it was his last day with his coworkers or something, but the character was a riot. He yelled at a smoker outside the train, he told us to all join hands and sing kum-by-yah, among other various spurts of hot air that tickled me.

Its 5:30 am and any minute now the sun will rise over the hills and orange groves that comprise my metaphoric view of live; everything is beautiful. Its as if the sun is rising on a new age in my life, and the darkness that has been my life for a while now is leaving. I will not take this moment for granted, for I feel a new birth of what is attainable in sweet moments of laughter, peace, and joy. On an Amtrak train, go figure. This train is taking me to where I need to be most right now. 5:50 am, the suns rays are beaming through the hills just beautifully.

And here I am, riding on the midnight train, not going anywhere... going home.

HALLELUJAH

Summer is here. I am so excited for summer to finally arrive for me. For those of you who truly know me, you know that for me Summer is not so much a period of sunny days and relaxation, but rather a much more meaningful experience that is more metaphorical and dramatic than a simply vacation from school.

To me, the summer is a celebration of life. A celebration of friendship. To sum everything together, to me: summer is a celebration of community that strives towards the actualization of our mortality and of our immanent life in Christ.

Summer, that celebration of our youth, has started.

I spent yesterday night in Hollywood on Sunset Blvd beneath the Hollywood sign as my roommate Kellen played guitar at Rainbow Bar and Grille (fortunately not a gay club as I had worried when I first heard of it), a sweet little venue next to the Roxy. As he played guitar and all our friends were gathered around I couldn’t help but feel alive in that moment. How fortunate we all are to have life abundant, life that is powerful and wonderfully strong. I love my friends, I love community, and I celebrate life in Christ. When we are aware of our mortality and the gift of eternal life that Christ offers us, our lives take on a sweeter taste. We live better--with more courage and boldness to be alive than ever before.

And the only word that can cross my mind is the hebrew word that means ‘God be praised.’

Hallelujah.

2007: THE SUMMER OF __________

What will this summer be? What will be the driving theme of this summer? What will be the ultimate goal of my life and how will that be reflected in how I spend this summer.

This summer will be about freedom, friendship, growing and learning, maturing, and getting spiritual. I am so excited because I know that God has given me this great opportunity, this wonderful blessing, this exciting chance to live in freedom and to experience something completely and wonderfully new. I am excited for the challenge because I firmly believe that we were all made for amazing things.

Carpe Diem: the motto of my life. I am so excited to have my whole life ahead of me, but what excites me the most is knowing that I am alive here and now and therefore I constantly must choose to live my life in a way that is worthy of glorifying the sacrifices that Jesus made for me on the cross.

I know I must seize the day. I know that this summer will be such a time of growth for me. I am so excited about it. What will it hold for me though? What new and driving force will guide me this summer? Last year I thought my summer was about finding love, but what more now can this summer hold?--Perhaps a combination of wonderful treasures that will be revealed to me when the time is right. Praise God for everything he has done and will do for me. Thank you God for the summer of 2007: the summer of (God, fill in the blank!).

I am so excited.

LIVE FREE

Live Free. Carpe Diem. Love wins. Hope Still Remains. Live for Christ. These statments comprise my credo, and I fully believe in the power of each of these statements. With the beginning of this new blog, I hope that this will be evidenced through my life, my stories, and the way I live my life.