DEFEAT IS TODAY'S THEME

I feel defeated, and the sad things is I wish I would have put up more
of a fight.

Maybe I am completely wrong, but unless I am mistaken, my time was
worth nothing if not barely a little more.

I guess all I am asking, is for one damn moment in my life where I
might be given the blessing and fortune to finish first. I do not
curse God, and I am thankful for the blessings I do have, I am just
not myself right now as I think about how this makes me feel.
Jealousy is not befitting me, but for some reason I am tempted to give
in as all those lies I wanted to believe seem to have a little more
credit to them (read LIES AND PRAYERS -- March 07, 2008).

And I am left again desiring what I do not, will not, and for some
reason cannot seem to have.

Yet in some way, it makes life taste sweeter. Even the bitter moments
of life enhance my understanding of what it means to live fully, and I
revel in the fact that heartache gives me hope of better things to
come. With a hope and a prayer, perhaps God will smile on me soon
enough.