Some days I just wake up and realize that I feel sad. It is not that I had a bad morning or a bad sleep, but every so often I come in to consciousness and realize that today might just be another forgettable day, and this of course makes me sad.
Deeply sad.
That which makes me sad are problems not easily solved. I have sadness in so many areas of my life that this makes me sadder. Sadness over a girl too far from reach, an adventure not lived, friends lost, friends not made, a family not bonded tightly, a God met with hostility, friends not in community, and a world full of ignorance of peace. My sadness plagues these days, and there are times that my overwhelming hope and optimism fail in the shadow my sadness casts.
God's love is strong throughout my pain, and while it comforts me greatly, a desperate chill still fills my breath. What can I do to make such sadness cease? It seams for so long I haven't experienced great joy, and the terrible thing is that I know joy is often a matter of choice.
God, take this sad heart and make it new.
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