A GOD THING

I am elated. I am on the highest cloud. I feel so good right now,
and all of this joy is the joy I have for being a child of God! I
can't even begin to describe to you how great God is--in the good
times, and the bad times too.

Let me tell you a story about the goodness of God. For the past four
months I have been looking for a job with no success. I was really
starting to get bogged down with stress about things. I was getting
twelve hours a week at Disneyland, barely able to afford rent and
interest payments on my student loans. My car had been broken and
inoperable since January 1st, and if it wasn't for the care and grace
of my beautiful girlfriend, I wouldn't have been able to get to work
in Anaheim. Circumstances were getting very desperate for me--I don't
know how someone without a relationship with Christ could have dealt
with this (of course I recognized how blessed I am living in America
and my standard of living compared to the poverty of the rest of the
world. I would never take it for granted, and I pray for those less
fortunate).

A week ago, I heard through my very small network that there was a
company looking for someone to answer their phones, run the office,
and log tape footage. I sent my resume over to a man named Joel
thinking the position was with his company. He responded saying the
position was actually with a different company, Element Media Inc. and
that he had already forwarded someone else's application, but he would
be happy to send mine in too. The one catch was that they were
looking to have filled the position on friday, the day before. I was
bummed and tempted to not send my resume, but sent it anyway.

On Wednesday, my Dad had emailed me about some things, and had asked
me about the job search. I was writing him and telling him about how
bad things were and how they... for lack of a better term... sucked.
I asked for prayer. After hitting the send button, I looked down at
my phone and I had a voicemail from an unknown number. I listened to
the message and it was from Joe, the CEO of Element Media Inc. He
wanted to talk about my resume! I was in the public library so I
couldn't call him back, so I raced to KLOT (a disney cast member
parking lot) and made the call from their since I knew it would be a
quiet place. The phone conversation was amazing, and Joe was really
impressed by me. He invited me down to meet at 11:00 am on Friday
(today).

So, two days after the first call (with a day at the beach in
between), I went down to Element Media to meet Joe and his business
partner, Kevin. The first thing I am struck by is the location.
Their office is on the corner of Highland and Fountain... literally in
the heart of Hollywood. What a place for me to be! A location like
this is the perfect hill for God's light to shine from. So I meet
with Joe and Kevin and the interview is just phenomenal. Joe used to
work at Disneyworld in Florida and had friends in the college program,
and here I am just out of the college program! I leave the interview
with a great feeling of optimism and hope. When I get home from the
interview, I quickly write an email to Joe and Kevin to tell them
thank you for having me interview, and within five minutes of sending
my email they both respond, separately, telling me how impressed they
were by me. Joe adds "you'll be hearing from me soon."

I wasn't sure what soon meant. I was offered the job less than a half
hour later. Praise God!

The thing that just really amazes me is the timing of everything. In
less than a week (really, in less than 3 days) I have gone from
working twelve hours a week at Disneyland to having a great job for a
production company. God is awesome.

This job is going to be great. There is so much I am going to learn,
and this launch pad will be perfect for me. I am so excited for it,
and so excited that I can tell people about how God has had such a
deliberate hand in this. I am so thankful for all those involved, and
I can't even express to you right now how elated I feel. "Elated" is
the only word I can think of right now, by the way.

So my new job role will be as an Office Manager/Assistant Editor for
Element Media Inc. If I didn't mention before, Element Media makes
EPKs (electronic press kits), behind-the-scenes, DVD bonus features,
and more. They work with almost all the major studios and have
special deals with Focus Features and the Coen Bros. This job will be
a fantastic opportunity for me to learn, work, and grow.

PRAISE GOD.

IT HAS BEEN TOO LONG

It has been too long -- far too long -- since my last post. In many
ways, I have been living out great adventures that have been really
good for my soul, and in other ways, I have been far too lazy and
neglecting the things that matter most to me. I have been so lazy
lately that I have felt like I have no time to write. I remember back
to my time at APU when I had barely four hours of sleep but still made
time to consider my thoughts about life and write them down. Here I
sit now, making time, but for a different reason. Freeing myself from
writing out of a sense of duty and purpose, I can now write out of
sheer pleasure in pursuit of the excellence that makes me feel alive.

So how do I capture the last few months? They have escaped my pen, or
rather my keyboard. The storyteller in me wants to write it all down,
record it, narrate it and fit it into a chapter in my life -- but the
thinker in me would rather leave these months blank, a mystery to
anyone caring to notice. The truth is that these have been a few of
the darkest months in my life, but I am blessed. I have never had so
much to worry about, but never have I worried less. Perhaps it is
ignorance, perhaps it is hope. Well whatever bliss this is, I am
blessed.

My work is easy, too easy. I am not challenged at all. The biggest
challenge I face is telling people they have to wait another 5 minutes
to use their fast pass, or deciding whether or not to hit the ride-
stop button because someone is floating their banana in the elevator
shaft. I was offered an interview to be a trainer... I am capable of
so much more and I hope they realize that. I have my eyes on so many
bigger things. I want to do great things, but I have no idea where to
start. I have no idea what I want to do. All the things that
interest me seem to require vast sums of money or years and years of
experience (which I have neither). I hate being confined, and I feel
in some ways that my life is a poorly constructed prison begging to be
sprung.

It has been too long since I have seen my family. It has been too
long since I have felt close kinship with a stranger. It has been too
long since I have been to church. It has been too long since I have
felt comfortable and assured. It has been far too long since I have
done anything worth remembering. It has been far too long since I
have felt a sense of purpose of my life, and it has been far too long
since I have thought about serving anyone but myself. Maybe though,
this time has simply been preparation time... time for me to prepare
my life for great purpose.

I am stuck on one question. If I could only answer that question, my
whole life would be answered. I would have no fear because I could
stop wondering about it and finally do it. The question is "where do
I start?" The idea that keeps me fascinated, however, is that by
answering that question, I will have taken all the mystery out of
life. "What I was born to do?" is perhaps a question better
considered in the end. If I could pick an answer now though, I would
say I was born to go on great adventures. It has been far too long
since I had an adventure.

Here I sit now, writing as I always love, trying to find a reason not
to beat myself up over the selfishness and the laziness I have
experienced these last few months. All my thoughts have revolved on
trying to get a better job, to boost myself up to somewhere new, to
find a career, and the funny thing is that I haven't spent more than
an hour tending to my heart, or cultivating my soul. The good news
is, the times: they are 'a changing.

Why am I committing myself to change? Simply put, it has been too long.

ANYTHING

I'd give anything to be with you. You have my heart, and as much as I
wish you did not, I just don't think i'll ever get over you.

EXPLORE. DREAM. DISCOVER

Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did do.  So throw off the bowlines.  Sail away from the safe harbor.  Catch the trade winds in your sails.  Explore.  Dream.  Discover.

-Mark Twain

I AM ON MY WAY

Sometimes I hear a song, and its message sounds so much like my life, that I begin to wonder if it was written about me--as if moments of my life sat suspended in fancy picture frames on the song writer's desk.  Now obviously I don't really believe that, but I am still struck by the frequency at which songs that especially comment on the current and flow of my life occur.  Lately, I have been feeling very discouraged about so many things, and yet I still have hope.  

I am on my way,

I can go the distance,

I don't care how far,

somehow I'll be strong

I know every mile

will be worth my while

I would go most anywhere

to feel like I belong.

"Go the Distance" from Walt Disney Pictures' Hercules.

Lyrics by David Zippel.

I am on my way, and I can go the distance.  With God by my side, I will be strong.  For me, the difference is that I know where and to who I belong.  To God, my creator.  In many ways, it assures me that all these feelings of not belonging to this world are not supposed to surprise or discourage me, but remind me of the awesome power by which, and for who, I was made.

WHEN THE GOING GETS TOUGH

I know that as a good 'ol Christian boy I ought to be rejoicing in my
trials and hardships, but at this moment comfort and joy are strangers
to me. It perplexes me that I feel differently than I want to, and
differently then I know I should. All my hardships boil down to money
right now, and what is money? "Sparrows..." my friends say to me with
a stroke of shortsighted genius--a reference to the birds of the
fields that God provides for. I know that I am so loved by God, and I
know he is by my side, but right now I am not comforted by that. What
a shame, too.

I want nothing more than to trust God. It has taken me time to
realize that I really do not trust God. I say I do, I want to, I
believe I should, and I want nothing more... but both God and I know
that by my actions I refuse to let go of my faith in what I can do.
With every breath I take, I hate this constant struggle to
relinquish. I know the right answers, I say the right prayers, and
while my heart is wrong I all the while picture God at my side smiling
because he knows what he has in store for me.

How do we "consider it pure joy" when every part of us just wants to
be free of all hardship. Then I realize the futility of such
thought. When is Life ever kind, easy, and hardship free? I suppose
it is these times of hardships that refine us and make us who we are,
but I wish I could be a little more joyful about it. I wish I was
stronger, I wish I was wiser, and I just wish I could fix everything
that is wrong with my life and this world... and then the perpetual
lightbulb of an idea suddenly ignites a brilliant light in the chaos
of my inner turmoil:

I have an "I" problem.

THE RICHNESS OF YOUR GLORY

I think I am like most people, who put God into a little box where we
call on him whenever life gets a little hiccup or a distress becomes
too inconvenient to deal with alone. God is so much more than that,
and wants us to experience a richness of life that may not be easier,
but will certainly be fuller.

Tonight was the Christmas Eve service at church, and for the first
time ever we had the service at 11 pm. I was dreading it at first,
but then I found out some great friends whom I haven't seen in way too
long were coming and I got really excited. At Church, I recognized so
many family friends that it really made me very happy. For a family
christmas that almost didn't happen, this is sure turning out so far
to be a great Christmas (I feared I would be scheduled to work).

Tonight during the service I began thinking about why God goes so far
to reach out to us. We must be pretty special. Just looking around
at the world we discover an entire universe full of complex designs
and structures created by God for what appears to be one purpose:
life. Our very existence is as statistically probable as the chances
of gravity suddenly reversing on it's own accord. God created this
whole realm as an act of revelation of himself and his glory, and I
cannot help but notice the richness of it all. We are little more
than specks of dirt in time, and yet this universe exists solely as a
home for us.

God loves us very much indeed. It's all for his glory... and how rich
that glory is!